Faith or Foolishness?

I pretend most of the time to be happy but I really feel very empty inside and miserable. I haven’t found the meaning of my life. When I research I just find nothing. I was ambitious, I dreamt a lot but at the end it just remains as a dream, “A Dream of Nothingness”. Now am even fed of the word “dream”. I don’t know why am so angry and unhappy with my life. Maybe it’s because of the unexpected things that have turned out lately which has bruised my faith or maybe it is because of my fear of future. Whatever it is I want to shout out loudly to God and say, “God I feel totally lost!” “What is that for, you sent me here?” I remember once my friend in college say a proverb “Always expect the most unexpected”. At that time I didn’t agree with her, I thought that faith could change anything. If we have strong faith we would be able to see drops of rain even during drought. I thought that I will decide my future. God loves me and he will give me all that I ask him with faith. He will guide my thoughts and also me. But now, I am just lost with my faith. Sometimes time teases me, it calls me a “Fool”. Am I really a fool to have had blind faith on God? God, was the one who taught me to hold on to my faith. He consoled me and gave me all that I asked him, but now, its just “Foolishness”? My heart doesn’t wants to accept this and I will never accept this too. It's like how a man’s eye would feel when he is seeing the sun after being in darkness, “Totally blurred!”. I don’t want to face my future. I would be happy if God takes me now with him, because I do not want to live. I do not want to live in this “nothingness”. I do not like my 13 to 40 years of my age. I wish I had options to skip these years of my life.