To Feel, Love and Miss God

It was dusk and I was sitting on my terrace enjoying watching the city still hustling busily around me. Lucky I am; the building in which I stay is pretty tall and when you are on the terrace you would not miss to get the bird’s eye view of almost 2 km of the city around you. Not only that, but also, you would very well enjoy the sight of the blue of the mountains merge with that of the sky; the shades keep changing from lovely blue to dark gray to black along with the drowning sun in the faraway horizon. The winds would caress you with its touch. And when you are there, alone, with your favorite music playing in your ears, you would feel bliss.  My friend came up and found me sitting on my favorite place “the stone” (which is normally meant for washing cloths) and she asked me ‘What happened to you? Why are you here sitting alone? Are you OK?’ with a concerned look on her face.  I replied with a smile ‘I am more than OK!’. I was in fact, enjoying more than what words could describe happiness as.

Many may wonder, what is The Big Deal in this? Sitting on terrace? Looking out over the city? Sky…clouds…mountains…wind…? Being a lover of loneliness, yes, it is a big deal for me. True happiness for me is when I am able to completely enjoy all the impartial gifts which God has blessed all of us with. Here I am in a city (which I had never dreamt of going in my life) for past three years, earning my living and living my life with complete freedom, confidence and esteem; and also using all the talents God has gifted me with. When I go out, I feel the heat of the sun and it makes me feel happy because I feel God in it. Likewise, when I get wet in rain, when I feel chillness, when I feel the wind blow on my face, when I look at the beautiful open sky, when I look at the faraway mountains, when I look at the night stars, when I look at the moon, when I look at the night sky, when I look at birds fly in the sky, when I look at flowers bloom on plants, when I look at the crops grown in the field, when I look at the peacocks roam in the fields I feel God in all of them. God is everywhere. Omnipresent. Omnipotent. The Big Deal is to have the ability to feel him around us. Not only this, but when I sit there on the terrace and feel God, I also feel the wonderful blessing which he has showered on me (my life here, my friends and all the happy memories with them, my first project, my hostel room and everything else). The more I feel God, the more I start loving him. The more I love him, the more I miss him. The more I miss him, the more I want to meet him. The more I want to meet him, the more I live my life for him.  The more I live my life for him, the more the joy in me bubbles up and this joy knows no bounds. This is the Big Deal and this is the true Happiness for me.

The very important and final lesson my college taught me

On my farewell night in College, after the pomp and show, I was walking away from the canteen, where we had our special dinner arranged by our juniors. Most of my friends weren’t with me; they were busy taking pictures of themselves.  Being a simple girl, I never liked to dress up grandly or to pose for photographs, and so I was left alone and had to have my dinner alone in canteen. Since, I didn’t know what else to do other than to wait for my father, who would come and take me back home, I started to walk towards the gate. The path from my Science block to the gate was a little less than a quarter a kilometer. It was dark and when I looked back, I found my college more than beautiful in the moonlight. The path was lonely and deserted. Through the darkness I found my eyes tracing through all the colorful memories of my days in my college. My friends, my teachers, exams, practical classes, responsibilities, functions, fun, cultural and lot more. I couldn’t believe that 3 years had passed and I was about to graduate from it. I knew I would miss my college. I had a wired sense of loneliness. It was then that I felt everything around me in my college speak to me in silence; though it was in my own tone, I heard it say, 'One day I would also have to graduate from my life and that day would be my death and my father in heaven would wait near the gate of life to take me back home, just like my father here on earth would do. I would also have to move on alone to the gates just like the way am doing now. Everything that I experience here (in life) would be lessons that would prepare me to face this death and the life after death with my father (God).' That very moment, I couldn’t comprehend myself. That was the very important and final lesson my college taught me.

Life’s simplicity or toughness depends on the way we perceive it. We just need to remember that our days are God’s gifts and the people we meet in our lives are God’s on images who come to us and teach us things. Pain or happiness is part and parcel of our learning process. We should nether feel depressed nor bloat with pride and just take life as it comes to us. It’s our duty to learn from everything that comes to us and mold ourselves for the big day, the Graduation day (Our Death) and for the wonderful life with God because nothing is permanent other than death and no love is true other than that of our Creator’s on us.